Tip #3: How to Make Choc-Orange Cake (in 21 easy steps!)
We all want to be healthier in 2017! But that doesn’t mean we can’t treat ourselves once in a while. Carefully follow the below instructions for one of my favourite cakes that the whole family will love!
1. Stand up.
2. Walk to your car at a normal pace.
3. Drive to your local cake store. If you don’t have a car, stop now and make a different cake.
4. At the cake store, ask for Brett. It might be Sunday, in which case ask for Leonard. Leonard may only be part-time, but he still knows where the cakes are kept.
5. Order one chocolate cake.
6. Walk back to the car with the cake. Be careful not to let go of the cake.
7. Put cake in car and close the door, ensuring door is secure.
8. Drive to a supermarket.
9. Park your car in a legal parking spot.
10. Get one 2L bottle of Fanta.
11. Walk back to car. Make sure it’s your car.
12. Drive home.
13. Park car in the same spot you found it in Step 2.
14. Walk inside with chocolate cake and Fanta bottle.
15. If you didn’t pay for the cake or the Fanta, drive back to both stores and pay for them immediately. You have thieved and the police have probably been called. If you did pay however, continue on to the next step.
16. In your kitchen, open the cake box and rest the chocolate cake flat on a large dish.
17. Open bottle of Fanta, being careful not to laugh.
18. Slowly pour the entire bottle of Fanta on the chocolate cake.
19. Let it sit for 20 seconds.
20. Let yourself sit for a further 20 seconds.
21. Cut cake into 8 slices with a standard knife. If you don’t have a knife, an A3 sheet of paper or household cat’s tail will prove a suitable replacement.
Bon Apetit! Your Choc-Orange cake is ready to Bon ApetEAT.
So there you have it! Three simple life tips to make your 2017 that little bit easier (and tastier!). If you’re interested in learning more life lessons for the year ahead like How to Lie, How to French Kiss or How to Escape Boring Conversations, my highly educational new Comedy Blaps series, How to Life is available to watch now on All4.
How to Life is available on www.channel4.com/programmes/comedy-blaps