TNT takes a look at who had a 'good' April and who had a 'bad' April...
Carol Bowditch – spared jail after having sex with a St Bernard, a Black Labrador and an Alsatian at a bestiality party claiming she did not know it was illegal
credit: Joan Vicent Canto Roig
Fuck off Carol - whether it’s legal or not your inner moral compass should tell you it’s the wrong thing to do! The 64 year old was a regular at parties in which owners would watch while women had sex with their pets (?) and sometimes, sex with owners afterwards (rank). Bowditch admitted having penetrative sex over several years with dogs - indeed, a DVD and USB were found containing film and imagery of Bowditch and her unfortunate partners so she was bang to rights really!
Serena Williams - announcing her first baby due in Autumn
No – we know that’s not particularly amazing, my friend Amy is expecting a baby in the Autumn too but, what my friend Amy didn’t do was win her 23rd Grand Slam competition in Australia whilst pregnant. An impressive feat in itself, Williams is only one away from the record set by Aussie Margaret Court at 24 Grand Slams and fair play to her for not bowing out and going for it – question is will she come back and try to take that record or will she call it a day?
US/Canadian Border Authorities - for detaining Aussie Baxter Reid for overstaying his visa by just over an hour
Really? Let’s get a little perspective here Border Authorities. Reid and his girlfriend arrived at the Canadian border with every intention of crossing over to Canada, thus staying within the conditions of Reid’s visa which required him to leave the US every 6 months. They were however, detained by Canadian Authorities, questioned, refused entry and returned to the US side of things, at which point the US Border Authorities handcuffed Reid and took him off to a detention centre for exceeding his visa. Now, whilst this should be put down to a mis-understanding, Reid faced very real charges and of course, legal fees running into the thousands. Plus, he could have been deported back to Oz as a criminal and thus, not allowed to return to the US with his American girlfriend. Reid has since been released with no criminal charges but still…what a shit thing to do and a total waste of time.
Tuker Murray – being cool as fuck during an armed robbery
The Jimmy John’s employee stayed ice cool as a man entered the shop, asked about cheese and then took out a handgun and asks Murray open the cash register. CCTV footage shows Murray simply staring at the man who then repeats his demand. The robber then sticks his handgun in Murray’s face and reiterates his request using some harsh language, to which Murray reluctantly opens the register and gives him the money, almost as if the assailant had bored him into doing so as opposed to scaring him with his big bad gun. Kudos to you Tuker.
First there was the highly publicised incident with Dr David Dao being manhandled off an overbooked flight, literally kicking and screaming – it went viral and prompted a huge backlash. Now we know that UA (and all airlines) are within their rights to ask passengers to leave a flight if overbooked (which itself is rubbish), but what UA didn’t do was to seek an alternative after Dr Dao refused, instead they went in all Hulk like and threw him off the flight. Fuck-up no.1 April 2017.
Fuck-up no.2 comes when a UA flight attendant is again caught out by social media squaring up to a passenger after an altercation between said flight attendant and a young child’s mother after forcibly taking the child’s buggy away, hitting the mother and narrowly missing the child. It too went viral.
Fuck-up no.3 involves UA flying a customer 3,000 miles in the wrong direction thanks to a last minute gate change at Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris. Lucie Bahetoukilae, who does not speak English (then again, why would she necessarily as she’s boarding in Paris, FRANCE), boarded a flight to San Francisco as opposed to Newark, her actual destination. Bahetoukilae’s boarding pass was checked again onboard, as someone was sitting in her seat and she notified a flight attendant but still made it all the way to San Fran – Brilliant!
Fuck-up no.4 – Simon, a giant rabbit…dead whilst in UA care. Bunny rabbits now United? Really? Simon was a potential record breaker – at 3ft he was a pretty bloody big rabbit, he was travelling from London to Chicago and although he made it off the flight alive, he died at some point in a pet facility run by UA.
And then there's Fuck-up no.5: Nicole Harper, who has a medical condition, was refused permission to use the onboard bathroom and ordered back to her seat because the Captain was yet to turn off the seatbelt light - the alternative offered by the crew were paper cups which she was forced to use.
TNT reckons there was a lot of overtime in April for the United Airlines PR dept!
Aus MP Graham Perrett - for knocking himself out whilst laughing at a TV comedy
The Labor MP laughed so hard he choked on his dinner, ran from his living room and knocked himself out on his kitchen island needing 3 stitches and leaving him with a black-eye and cuts to his face. Perrett was watching US political satire show Veep and a particular ‘totally politically incorrect but very amusing’ sketch when the incident happened. We shouldn’t laugh but you did Graham so forgive us.